2021 Brocathlon The 6th Annual Brcocathlon AND THIS ONE WAS FOR THE KIDS. Our field was filled with Ferda – but this is a cutthroat competition. Who is going to end up with the win? THE FACTS We sadly received a call from Brennan at 8:30am – start time – saying that he would be unable to make it, as he was in Columbus. One name came to mind…Mr. Noah Anderson. That man answered his phone in bed, showed up, and DELIVERED… Another case of absolute ferdaness was Dylan – this guy went out in Pittsburgh the night before, woke up hungover, and drove to Ohio to hang with people he had never met. The Yenny Bro’s pairing won the loser’s bracket and gave themselves a shot at the Sandy Cheeks Tourney victory, but the duo of Paul and Noah just had too much DAWG in them to be beat. Jonny Todd delivered his 3rd ever Home Run Derby win, breaking Riley Sinclair’s two year streak of dominance. Anthony, despite his softball training, found himself hitting 0 home runs and scoring 0 points. Beer Mile time – who else but Mr. Alex Nupp blazing in for the victory?? A slow year, as he went a MEASLY 6:23. Noah and Bryce found themselves well behind the pack in the Beer Mile, aware of the inevitability of zero points, and decided to phone it in. A possible rule change in the future??? In the Pigskin Precision Classic, Gage Feola had that mfer THANG on him as he dazzled with a record 29 points. The Cantonian 100 was up next, entering year 2 of its existence, and the order would be first to worst. Well, that person in last through 4? FORMER CHAMP ANTHONY FERRELL. Some people were a bit tentative with the janky tarp slip and slide on top of rocks, but Connor laid himself OUT and flew down that thing, leading to some iconic pictures. His brother, in all his idiocy, completely forgot the rules and dropped the wheelbarrow well out of its area. RIP to his time. That guy in last place that I mentioned? Well he took that sh*t personally. Anthony flew to the win in the 2nd Annual Cantonian 100. The Banana Eating Competition was a bit of a flop. Who knew so many people were adverse to eating a banana?? 5 of 16 participants did not start or did not finish. Who other than our resident eating GOD, Jake Murphy, would win the Banana Eating competition. Knockout time. And for some reason the gentlemen had the idea to do it from the 3pt line. Paul Murray decided to completely give up on shooting and was chucking off the backboard. Something must have been in the water because the top 5 was Grant, Carl, Nupp, and J-Todd. THATS WHY WE DON’T PLAY THE BROCATHLON ON PAPER, FOLKS. Riley was in the best shape of his life and was talking an awful lot of shit about winning wall-sits. Well, turns out we had a repeat sit off from Nupp and Ferrell, with Nupp getting the edge this time with a time of 7:30. Coming down to the final two events, it was looking to be a Two Man Showdown: Paul Murray out in the lead with 50 and Nupp chasing with 47 P Flundy cemented his lead and likely win with a DOMINANT start to finish Cornhole performance. Brady Winkler, former Cornhole champion, got a little high on his own supply. He had a brutal finish of 9th for someone trying to bring themselves out of a HELLUVA bad day. That brought us to our brand new grand finale: flip cup. Boy oh BOY was it a blast. 1v1 flip cup battle vs the person directly behind you (or in front of you) in the standings. It would take a real chokejob for Paul and an elite performance by Nupp to change the final standings… AND MAN OH MAN DID NUPP TRY. For his 11th, let me say that again – ELEVENTH – event win, Nupp dominated the flip cup race. Unfortunately, Paul finished in 9th, placing him high enough to secure his win. And so that was that, your 6th Annual Brocathlon Champion and FIRST two-time champion is PAUL MURRAY. A brilliant performance. In some other notes: Josh Murphy had an incredible 11 points to finish as the Ultimate Loser Remember how Brennan didn’t show up and Noah replaced him? And then was Paul’s partner in volleyball and they won? Yeah, well if that doesn’t happen Nupp is likely a Brocathlon champion Brady and Bryce finished in a LOWLY 15th and t-13th respectively. WTF is going on in the Winkler family. Riley and Ferrell let the hype reach them and had a mediocre t-6th performance. Let’s give credit where credit is due – Gage Feola, still with no license, finished t-3rd, his best ever. That’s a wrap on 2021 results. We will see you in 2022 for year 7!